Message Notes 3.21.21 | What About Personal Conflict? | Mt. 5-21-24; Mt. 18-15-17

Matthew 5:21–24 (NASB95)

21 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’

22“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

23“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,

24leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

Matthew 18:15–17 (ESV)

If Your Brother Sins Against You

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

I. Non-legal conflict.

A. Look to Christ

1. glory of Christ

2. cross of Christ

Ephesians 2:14 (ESV)

14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility

3. body of Christ

4. love of Christ

5. sovereignty of Christ

Genesis 50:20 (ESV)

20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

B. Look to self

1. Did you offend

James 4:1–2 (ESV)

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

2. Are you bitter

Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

3. Are you a gossip

4. Are you seeking reconciliation

Proverbs 12:18 (ESV)

18  There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, 

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

5. What does God want to teach you

C. Go to the person in a spirit of gentleness seeking reconciliation

Romans 14:18 (ESV)

18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.

1 Timothy 5:19–21 (ESV)

19 Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. 21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.

II. Legal conflict

A. If it’s civil first seek resolution personally, then go to the church leaders; the last resort is litigation.

B. If it criminal, immediately bring in government authorities to carry out justice and protect others.

III. If you are unintentionally wronged, decide whether to absorb it or talk to them.

IV. If you wrong someone, ask God for forgiveness, and then the person’s forgiveness.

Proverbs 18:17 (ESV)

17  The one who states his case first seems right, 

until the other comes and examines him.

V. When someone you know has been wronged, don’t listen to one side only direct the offended to follow  the steps in this message.

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